Four weeks ago I severed my anterior cruciate ligament during a dads soccer match at my children’s school. Three weeks ago I had a reconstruction using a graft from my hamstring. This event has been and still is the trigger for many experiences, new and revisited.
First off, going from 2-3 hours a day of training, down to nothing has been a detox of note. You can only do so many push-ups and other upper body exercises! While I knew this would happen I was still totally unprepared for it. Apparently the surgery was difficult as there was some difficulty attaching one end of the ligament to the bone. This resulted in a longer period of very restricted leg movement and even no swimming with a brace! My six weeks of nothing but limited leg exercises ends in 3 weeks.
This was going to finally be my good season in triathlon age group events. I’d paid all the ‘school fees’ over the past two years and was set for a great season – this is now parked, probably until next season barring some swimming events!
I was seriously surprised at how difficult it was (and still often is) to manage my head! I’m absolutely the opposite of a depressed, negative person and I have regularly had to drag myself out of those dumps without realizing I fell into them in the first place.
The revisited lessons for me involve taking small steps and gaining the little victories while still aiming for the big win as soon as possible. I know it sounds somewhat contradictory but its not! I’m not interested in why this happened or what it’s message is, I’m interested in moving forward and onward.
I have also renewed my appreciation many times over for fitness, the outdoors and this beautiful, beautiful area I live in. As is so often the case, when you cannot get out there on the trails, on foot or on the bike, you rediscover your love of the surrounding outdoors and the way it feeds your soul, in a different way. I look at a stretch of beautiful open water and the urge to swim it now that I cannot, is virtually overwhelming.
In the end I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’m rediscovering little things and unpacking and opening gifts I have, that I’ve left in ‘storage’ for too long. I’m working with this process, I’m learning from it, especially about me, my motivations and how and what I want to create in my life.
Are you living your life fully, are you also ‘hiding’ some ‘gifts’ in dark corners believing you’ll ‘unwrap’ them soon enough? Go get them….now!!